Pick up the pieces
by Smudge the rat
Summary: SeverusDraco slash, contains noncon, angst and SPOILERS FOR DEATHLY HALLOWS First three chapters were written a while ago and set during Half Blood Prince, fourth chapter is a conclusion based on events of Deathly Hallows
1. A wise man does not presume

**A/N: **I had to do a Harry Potter slash. Everyone does a Harry Potter slash, and besides, I had a vague idea of what is laughingly known as a "plot".

**Warning: **Contains Yaoi (that's a man and another man having sex. Gasp. How sinful.) - don't like, don't read. Also contains rape in chapter 2.

**Pairing: **Severus and Draco.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own them, J.K.Rowling does. If I owned them, Draco would be the hero and Harry would be the villain.

You can rate if you want to, and flame away, I have a water spell to put out any fires.

* * *

The tip of a meticulously sharpened pencil lightly brushed the surface of the paper as Draco sketched the outline of a face. The object of his attention was speaking to the class, but Draco had no interest in Defence Against the Dark Arts. His father had taught him all he needed to know in the area of combat and there is no point in learning to defend yourself against something you do not need to fear. 

Each strand of jet-black hair was drawn. Every contour of the face. He managed to capture the intelligence, the arrogance and the ghost of a sneer on the upturned corner of the mouth.

The cold gaze of his teacher swept the room until its rested on him.

"Malfoy, are you paying any attention to what I've been saying?"

He'd been caught out. Draco's entire body froze as he fixed his eyes on his teacher with what he hoped was a nonchalant expression. It wasn't detention that he feared; it was the possibility that his childish infatuation might be discovered.

"Of course, Professor. I was just making notes."

Two piercing eyes scrutinized him. He fought the urge to shiver. Those eyes violated him with their intensity.

"See me after class."

Draco let out a breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding. There wasn't going to be a confrontation in front of the entire class. Sev… Professor Snape was too discreet to embarrass him like that. It was even possible that he didn't know Draco's true feelings.

Those eyes held his gaze for a moment longer before turning back to the class, and Draco realised that he was deluding himself.

He dreaded the moment when they were alone together.

* * *

The last of the Gryffindors filed out, leaving Draco alone with his Professor. The boy sat nervously as his desk, unsure whether he was supposed to move. Snape seemed to have forgotten he was there; his entire attention appeared to be focused on paperwork. After a painful eternity, he spoke: 

"A wise man does not presume to know everything."

Startled, Draco stared at the man, not knowing what to say. Snape looked up from his desk, giving Draco his full attention. Realising that he was supposed to respond, Draco said the only thing that came to mind.

"I-I don't _presume_ anything, sir."

A thin eyebrow was raised, the only acknowledgement that he has spoken. Slowly, drawing the silence out in order to prolong Draco's suffering, Snape rose from his chair and crossed the room. He stopped when he reached Draco's desk, looming over the boy as he looked down on him from above.

"And yet you refuse to participate in my lessons," he said softly, planting his hands on the desk and leaning down to Draco's level. "Preferring instead to hone your skills as an artist."

Draco swallowed heavily. Had he seen the pictures? If he had, he must know about Draco's crush on him. He tried to avoid the professor's gaze, but Snape was so close that Draco had to physically turn his head away. A delicate hand reached up and grasped his chin, turning his head back to face Snape. Long, thin fingers stroked his cheek.

"You could be the greatest wizard who ever lived." Snape whispered in his ear. Draco's heart was beating so loudly that he almost didn't hear. "I can help you realise your potential. If you find it difficult to pay attention in my lessons, perhaps some… private tuition is necessary?"

Draco's chin was released from his grasp as the fingers slid away and the professor straightened up, crossing his arms to maintain some semblance of authority.

"Meet me here tomorrow night at eight o clock." He instructed. "Don't be late."

Draco nodded, grabbed his bag and escaped the classroom as quickly as possible without losing his composure. He pushed through the crowds of students thronging the hallways in the rush to get to their next lessons. Finally, he found his way out into the chill autumn air and leaned against the castle wall, panting heavily.

* * *

The rest of the day was spent in a waking dream. His thoughts travelled in circles, speculating about why Snape wanted to give him these private tuition sessions and what would happen tomorrow night. Did he really think that Draco had potential? In the past, he had shown a preference for Draco over other members of his class, but once he had become a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, this favouritism had ended and Draco had presumed that it was only because of his talent at Potions that Snape had taken an interest in the first place. 

A wise man does not presume to know everything…

Tomorrow night could not come soon enough.

* * *

**A/N: **I repeat, the next chapter contains rape. But it's OK, Draco loves it, the little slut. 


	2. When rage and lust combine

Severus stormed down the corridor in a rage. The few students who were wandering around at this time of night flung themselves against the wall in order to avoid him.

How dare Potter speak to him like that? He'd met the insufferable boy on his way to meet that inbred half giant and reprimanded him for leaving the castle after hours. Potter had tried to give him some half arsed excuse and Severus had replied with a remark about how Potter was displaying the same deviant tendencies as his father.

It was at this point that the boy had tried to hex him, spewing a torrent of insults the likes of which Severus had never heard before.

After disarming the boy and deducting a great deal of points from Gryffindor, Severus had stormed off in an incredibly foul mood. To make things worse, he was on his way to see Draco, and he in no way wished his favourite student to see him like this.

Taking several deeps breaths, Severus struggled to regain his self-control, shocked at how hard he was finding it to dispel his anger. He pushed open the door of the classroom to find Draco waiting for him at his desk. The blonde boy stood as Severus approached, trying to maintain his façade of serenity. At the sight of the longing in his student's beautiful blue eyes, Severus lost all control.

He crossed the room in two strides and pushed Draco against the desk, kissing him roughly and pulling at his clothes. Startled by this sudden display of aggression, Draco clung to him, struggling to stay upright. His mouth opened enough to allow entrance to Severus's tongue and after the surprise and confusion wore off, he started to kiss him back, pushing against Severus's tongue with his own, battling him for dominance.

Severus pulled away, tearing Draco's robes and turning him around so that he was bent face down over the desk. Without warning or preparation, he thrust himself deep inside the boy, holding him tightly to stop him from struggling.

Draco cried out in pain, unused to being penetrated in this way. As Severus slid in and out the pain increased, becoming almost unbearable. The professor's mouth was close to his ear and Draco could hear him breathing heavily, grunting every time he slid all the way inside.

Severus was close to breaking point. He buried his face in Draco's neck, biting down hard enough to draw blood from the pure white skin. Draco whimpered in pain, hands scrabbling across the desk for something to grip. When he couldn't find anything he settled for clenching his fists tightly, leaving marks where the fingernails dug into the skin.

The pain he had initially felt was fading away, turning into something more pleasurable. He began to moan softly as each thrust sent waves of pleasure tingling up his spine and the teeth sinking into his neck turned into soft, wet kisses. Severus murmured his name again and again, hands running up and down Draco's chest, doubling the boy's pleasure as his moans escalated in volume.

Both of them came in unison, Draco spurting all over the desk as he arched his back, pressing himself against the man who spilled his seed inside of him. Severus kept his grip on the boy, holding him close until his breathing slowed to a normal rate.

Draco felt the strong arms release him and the cold air on his back as Severus moved away. He waited until he heard the door open and close before he turned around and started to dress as best he could in torn robes.

* * *

Curtains pulled tightly around his bed, Draco lay awake that night in a cold sweat, replaying the night's events over and over in his mind. He'd fantasised about his professor before, countless times, but never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that his fantasies would become reality. 

Languidly stroking himself with one hand, he remembered how it felt to have Severus inside of him. As he brought himself to climax, he wondered how their relationship would change after what they had done.

Under his bed were countless sketches of the object of his desire. Sometimes, when he couldn't sleep, he would hide under his covers, looking at each one by the light of his wand. Severus's face was so handsome, so perfect. All Draco wanted was to brush his lips against that cheek, run his finger along that crooked nose and lose himself in those piercing eyes.

With a gasp, he brought himself to orgasm, covering his sheets with sticky fluid. After cleaning them off with a flick of his wand, he pulled the covers over himself and drifted off into a sleep full of intense dreams.

* * *

Lying fully clothed on his bed, Severus berated himself for what he had done. After so many years of restraining himself around the boy, he had forced himself upon him. 

There was no way he could stay on as Draco's teacher after this. If Draco told anyone what had happened (and he had every right to do so), Severus would lose his job. Hell, he might even be sent to Azkaban.

His only option was to resign. He hated the thought of never seeing Draco again, but it was better than the shame of having to look him in the eyes, knowing that he had … he had raped him. He feared seeing hatred in those ocean blue eyes more than he feared the miserable confines of Azkaban.

Reaching for a small wooden chest at the foot of his bed, Severus lifted the lid and took out a dusty bottle. Bringing it up to his lips and fighting the impulse to gag at the bitter liquid that filled his mouth, he cursed himself for falling in love with Draco Malfoy.

* * *

**A/N: **I should probably warn you that there's more sex in the next chapter. But if you don't like it, why have you read this far? 


	3. Picking up the pieces

As he entered the Great Hall the next morning, Draco's eyes went straight to Severus's place at the staff table. There was a noticeable gap between the two professors on either side. Disappointed, he made his way to the Slytherin table and went through the motions of eating breakfast, but a knot had formed in his stomach that killed his hunger.

Draco's first two lessons were spent deep in thought. His professor's sudden disappearance had to be linked to what had happened last night. Had Dumbledore found out and given Severus the sack? The meddling old man had a way of always knowing what was going on in his castle.

Or had Draco scared him away? The knot in his stomach worsened at the thought that he might have done something to repel Severus. He had made a hasty exit after what happened last night. Did Draco disgust him so much that he was avoiding him?

As soon as the bell signalled the end of an extremely boring History of Magic lesson, Draco was out of the door and heading towards the dungeons. If Severus was still in the castle, he would be in his office. Even if the professor didn't want to see him, Draco was going to find out what was wrong.

* * *

There was a timid knock on the door. Severus barely noticed; his only acknowledgement of the sound was to lift his head a few inches from his pillow and shout, "Fuck off!" His head was pounding relentlessly and bright spots kept flashing in front of his eyes. 

The door opened anyway. Turning over so that his back faced the door, Severus tried to give the impression that he was asleep. Whoever it was who had the nerve to disturb his misery closed the door and crossed the room to stand next to the bed.

"Professor?"

The quiet, tranquil voice reverberated through Severus's body, sobering him up and filling him with dread. It was the voice he heard in his dreams, calling him to bed, where his deepest pleasures would be fulfilled. Draco's voice. He squeezed his eyes tightly shut, unable to face the boy, disgusted by his own lust for someone 30 years his junior.

A soft, warm hand touched his shoulder, sending ripples of pleasure down his spine. His sharp intake of breath was sure to let Draco know that he wasn't really asleep. Reluctantly opening his eyes, he surrendered to the boy's firm grip and let himself be turned onto his back. Smelling the sharp tang of alcohol on his breath, Draco recoiled a little.

"You're drunk!" he accused, face showing his concern.

"Can you blame me?" Severus replied softly, lips barely moving. He turned his head a little to look Draco in the eyes, intending to discomfort the boy, but instead found himself captivated. He was falling into a clear blue sky, the wind wrapping itself around him and holding him close. Draco could see right through him; he could read Severus's perverse thoughts and they must repulse him.

"What do you want?" Severus asked in a shaky voice, his entire body trembling despite the sudden heat that filled the room. Draco's response was to climb onto the bed, placing his legs either side of Severus's hips, straddling him. He placed his hands on either side of Severus's neck and, ever so slowly, he bent down so that his soft blonde hair tickled Severus's face. Every time he exhaled, Severus felt a breath of warm air disperse across his face.

"I think you know what I want." Draco whispered. A moan of anticipation escaped Severus's lips as the boy kissed him tenderly.

* * *

This time it was _his _turn to dominate. Severus's robes were swiftly removed and Draco was free to run his hands down his lover's bare chest. The professor shivered at the contact, arching his body towards the boy, demanding more. Draco granted his wish, planting a trail of fiery kisses from his stomach to his neck and bringing his head up to nip gently at his ear. Severus tightened his arms around Draco's body and softly murmured, "Fuck." 

Delighted by this response, Draco focused his attention to the man's ear. He ran his tongue around the inside of the lobe, catching it between his teeth and pulling at it playfully. Judging by the satisfied moans emitted from Severus's throat, he had found a particularly sensitive area.

One hand affectionately stroking his professor's back, the other playing with a strand of the silky dark hair, Draco moved on to Severus's neck, sucking at the tender flesh and kissing the spot where he'd left a mark.

Their bodies were pressed tightly together, so that Draco could feel Severus becoming hard against his thigh. He sat up, fingers brushing gently against the professor's nipples, and surveyed the skinny white body that he controlled with his touch. The man's ribs were visible through the fragile skin that stretched across his chest. Running his fingers along each bone that jutted out through the skin, Draco repositioned himself so that he knelt between the slender legs. Taking Severus's erection in one hand, he prised apart the legs with the other and slid himself slowly inside.

* * *

Severus bit his lip hard enough to draw blood. It had been so long since he had been entered. His muscles were tense enough to make this painful for him. Sensing this, Draco took his left hand and squeezed it gently. He rubbed each delicate finger with his thumb, then massaged the rough skin of the palm. Severus closed his fingers around Draco's thumb and relaxed a little. 

"Do you want me to stop?"

Severus's chest was so tight that he had to take a deep breath before answering. His voice was full of need and lust. "No. Please… don't stop."

As gently as he could, Draco made love to the man he had worshipped for six years. He wanted Severus to know that it didn't matter how badly he treated him; he would always be there after the pain and humiliation and self-disgust, to hold him and make him whole again.

Severus came into his hand and Draco licked it clean, savouring the taste. Moaning his lover's name and clutching the hand that had never let go of his own, he came, collapsing onto Severus as if the strings holding him up had been cut, burying his face in the mess of black hair that spilled across the pillow.

They lay side by side, stroking and kissing and whispering their secrets to each other. When night fell they made love again, screaming each other's names into the darkness.

* * *

**A/N: **I feel like I should do a fourth chapter that fits in with the end of Half Blood Prince. Obviously during this fic I ignored Draco's mission and Severus's promise, so I want to show how their relationship fits in with what happens. However, I'm not quite sure how to do this. If you would like to see a fourth chapter and have any ideas, please send me feedback. 


	4. Falling Apart Again

**A/N: **OK, so this morning I went out and bought Deathly Hallows and it took me 9 hours to read it and then I wrote this. I've been promising that I'd write this conclusion as soon as the 7th book came out and I've kept my promise.

I didn't promise it would be a happy ending. It's JK's fault for killing off my Sevvie.

**Warning** - mention of naughty things going on between 2 males (but you knew that) and **spoilers for Deathly Hallows** (I doubt that many people have finished or even started reading it at the time I write this.)

* * *

Draco's knees trembled and gave way as he fell to the ground by his lover's grave. He'd gone to the funeral alone and stood in the shadows, watching as Potter made a great speech about bravery and honour and a bitter taste had filled Draco's mouth as he listened to the boy who had hated Severus for seven years give empty praise.

It should have been him up there, mourning the death of the man he had loved.

He remembered the first morning he had awoken in Severus's bed. At first, the professor had regretted what they'd done the night before, tried to push him away for fear of what his father would do, but Draco had quickly silenced him with a kiss and a wandering hand. Neither of them had left the bed that morning, although not a word passed between them, their time devoted to exploring and being explored.

Over the months, Severus had tried to deter him from the task set to him by the Dark Lord. Heated words passed between them, persuasion turning into insults and threats which turned into breathless kisses and desperate touches. Sometimes their arguments would go too far, but it would only be a day or two before one or both of them could no longer stand the coldness of an empty bed. When Draco became obsessed with fixing the vanishing cabinets, Severus would track him down at the end of the day, murmur gentle words in his ear and coax him into bed. Without him Draco would undoubtedly have worked into the night, disregarding sleep in his goal to do the Dark Lord's bidding.

What a fool he had been.

As the school year neared its end, so did Draco's task. Their lovemaking became more impassioned in those finals weeks, the words "I love you" passing across their lips as they climaxed, Severus inside Draco or Draco inside Severus. Unconsciously, they both knew that whatever the outcome, their relationship would soon change. If Draco failed, he would be tortured or even killed at the Dark Lord's hands. If he succeeded, they would never again find the opportunity to seek solace in each other. Hogwarts was the only place they could share a bed without being caught.

Severus had never told him about the Unbreakable Vow he'd made with Draco's mother. In the aftermath he tried to explain himself, told Draco that he'd only done it to protect him and begged him not to end it.

But Draco had walked away, much as it broke his heart to do so. No matter how much they had shared in the past year, how deep their feelings for each other went, Severus had lied to him.

Little had he known at the time how far the professor's betrayal went. Perhaps if Severus had confided in him, they would have been able to run away together. Most likely the Vow would have killed Severus if they tried that and if not, the Dark Lord would kill them instead. Would Severus have even agreed to abandon his loyalty to Dumbledore for something so selfish as love? Draco had heard that this loyalty had connections to Severus's obsession with Potter's mother.

And that was another thing that his lover had lied about. How was Draco to know how much he had said was the truth? When he fucked Draco, was he secretly imagining Lily Evans in his arms? Had his professions of love been meaningless?

Over the summer, everything changed. The Malfoy Manor became a meeting place for Death Eaters; the family was in disgrace and the Dark Lord took his father's wand. The other Death Eaters sneered at Draco, called him names and a few even entered his bedchamber at night.

He couldn't fight them. All he could do was lay there on his front with his eyes screwed shut, trying to imagine that it was Severus who was entering him. It didn't work; Severus would never cause him so much pain.

When he returned to school in September, the Ministry had already been overthrown and Severus had been appointed headmaster of Hogwarts. He held off the headmaster's advances for less than a month before the messages he received by owl every morning wore him down. One evening after dinner, his feet took him to Severus's study and his treacherous mouth spoke the password. From that night onwards, the constant pain and terror he'd felt ever since he saw Dumbledore die in front of him was lessened, the burden shared. It wasn't until the moment when Severus looked up front his desk and saw him standing in the doorway, love and relief clear in his eyes, that Draco had realised that he couldn't live without him.

He found himself not caring whether the Dark Lord succeeded in his plans or was defeated. All that mattered was that he never be parted from Severus again, emotionally or physically. During the Christmas holidays he watched impassively as his father tortured the Mudblood, Granger. He kept his emotions bottled up until he'd been able to return to Hogwarts once more and sleep without nightmares in Severus's arms. Only Severus knew that he cried himself to sleep, staining the pillow with his tears.

They never spoke of the future. It seemed that the Dark Lord's world didn't hold much future for either of them, so they made the most of the present. In the back of his mind, Draco truly believed that everything was going to be OK, that when the war was over they'd be able to live together, grow old together and die together.

But the Dark Lord didn't care about his childish hopes. He slaughtered Severus mercilessly for his own gain and left him cold on the floor of the Shrieking Shack. And Draco had heard from the legendary hero Harry Potter himself that his lover's last thoughts had been of a woman who'd died seventeen years ago.

"Was I just a replacement for her?" he whispered into the cold, hard earth as the rain began to fall. "I want to believe you loved me but I don't know if I can."

Tears mingled with raindrops as the droplets chased each other down his cheeks and the ground underfoot turned slowly into mud. Draco knelt, motionless as a statue until morning came and he returned home to his parents and his own empty bed.

Years later, he would find a wife and give her a son and they would pretend to be happy together and no one would know that he once knew love and happiness.


End file.
